my day

1. woken up by hubby at 3:30 when he came to bed
2. woken up by cats at 4:30 when they knocked (another) plant on the floor
3. overslept cuz i just couldn't drag my ass outta bed. STARBUCKS THIS MORNING
4. 7th graders and 6th graders rolled eyes when asked to sing-4 hours of eye rolling people, imagine it.
5. 8th graders have improved (omg they're LEARNING-blogging just to remember this moment)
6. had a 45 minute talk with a student after school where she told me that she doesn't think her mother loves her.
7. went to a stinky dance with stinky teenagers. seriously PEEE UUUUUUU. it clings until you are wearing the smell.
8. got cut off by a guy running a stop sign. he mouthed 'what's up bitch?' as I slammed on my brakes and gave him the what's up hands.
9. dry cleaners cleaned out my wallet. seriously, $50? it's not a dress, it's a long shirt god damnit...
10. found hubby's awesome pumpkin. god he's good at that. and he straightened the living room. i'm in heaven.
11. went to the varsity football game, held the first down sign. froze my tush off.
12. came home, mouse proofed the garage.
13. g'night. i'm done.

what do you believe will heal you?

light of all lights,
i want you to heal me
take my pains, my fears and worries
these things i do not want
i am tired of carrying them

will this plea draw you in?
will you enter in my life,
someone who knows how to how to
a healer wheeler a dealer
someone who knows how to get in

spectacular and amazing contingencies
contradictions are good for the soul
do you want to cover all the bases
spreading your energy thinly through each line
or jumble everything into one

this will cause a need for validation
the peopled person involved will suffer
thereby desiring albeit subconciously to make others suffer
all who do not believe exactly as you believe
will experience pains, fears and worries

this is how full the circle is

STREAM OF CONCIOUSNESS BLOG

i'm tired
my heart is restless
i miss alaska
my kittehs are lovely
my diet sucks
i miss Jenn
my car rental is up on Friday
i get to talk to parents all day tomorrow
i flirted like a slut with my dentist
i'm really a 12 year old boy-cuz i love South Park
my living room color sucks and it's my fault
i drink too much
my TMJ causes my jaw to get stuck either open or closed at least twice every day
this blog is stupid
monkey likes to eat bark
i love playing and singing praise music
i did all my chores today
i have a deep abhorrence for stupid/ignorant people and i mean DEEP
it's too late for me to be awake but i am
i am strangely attracted to adam sandler in Don't Mess With the Zohan
i'm glad i married the man i did
i hate the sound of my own voice
sometimes i have no idea how to teach my kids how to sing, cuz i don't really know
my refrigerator is broken
i'm going to bed

These are the things I've learned.

I will survive. If not, then I don't have anything to worry about anyway.

Be wary and pay attention.

Close your eyes and live your life blindly sometimes.

Tell people that you love them often, even if it sounds cliche and awkward (as long as you mean it).

Sleep is really important.

Good food is really important.

I am a strong woman.

I want to be stronger.

If I trust in myself then I will find the right place.

Fear is a silly set of pants that I wear because I am delusional enough to believe that I should.

mayhaps things are looking up (?!?)

of course i most likely just jinxed myself...

might get more money than expected re:stolen vehicle. work's ok, lookin' up and apparently I'm doing alright. am making more $$ starting this month. house is slowly but surely settling. thank yous are going/gone out.

life keeps on truckin'. glad i've still got my rig and am making good time.

Over my head...

...yup. That about sums it up. G'night.

distracted.

can't seemt to focus on any one thing for more than five minutes. am distracted by thoughts and emotions. my mind wanders all over the place, like an over fed fly who can feel the draft but can't find it's way out of the window.