Wednesday, January 21, 2009

And the train went rattling on by.


These are the things rolling around my brain.

1. Hope is better than nothing.
2. Change is slow, but good.
3. One second at a time.
4. I love to dance-it doesn't happen enough.
5. In the future, I would like to live somewhere WARMER.
6. In small doses-nostalgia is great!
7. I love icanhascheezburger.com because I am a giant dork.
8. Being a homeowner, while scary and overwhelming, is a totally AWESOME EXPERIENCE.
9. I am exactly where I should be, even when I don't believe that fact.
10. I love that RP is getting hitched!!
11. My job is really difficult and mercurial, and I get a little better at it every week (I wanted to say every day, but that's not true and once you start lying on your blog it's all over!)
12. Love my kitties. They are great companions.
13. My reality is exactly what I believe it to be.
14. Paid off my credit card!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
15. I want to live each day with no regrets, and to it's fullest because you never know when it's your last moment in this conciousnes.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Good bye old, hello new!


1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Bought a house!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I make resolutions every day, so new year's isn't any different.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin had a baby girl in October. Bella Linda is her name!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
yes

5. What countries did you visit?
the country of Adulthood!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
belief in humanity

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
4-2: bought our house! 9-2: first year of Marriage!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
learning to balance work and personal life more effectively

9. What was your biggest failure?
Letting my anxiety rule.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing that wasn't part of getting another year older.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A new car. I love my Lil' Bit.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Grrg and I have made some serious relationship steps. We are learning to communicate effectively and without drama....WHO KNEW?!?


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
The leaders of this country, and my ability to stay strangely still.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Home!! New car. Probably spent more on clothes than I needed to.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Buying a house. But I need to clarify-the excitment was preceded by trepidation, anxiety, and wariness. I have become excited in the past 90 days! Love our home....oh and getting a kitten named Monkey!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
happier (or more content)
b) thinner or fatter?
fatter.
c) richer or poorer?
richer. relatively.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
exercise, meditation, art, reading, forgiving

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
being negative

20. How did you spend Christmas?
traveling to families in the snow!

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
with my little Monkey

22. What was your favorite TV program?
the office makes my heart sing with laughter

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
can't think of any new additions to the List

24. What was the best book you read?
uh-didn't read anything that is worth remembering!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Pandora. a hells yes!

26. What did you want and get?
a clearer sense of self. and a navigator!

27. What did you want and not get?
belief in my strength. i guess there's always next year.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Wall-E. Like an upper but you don't swallow it....

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Holy f-31. hung out with my bro, bought myself a beautiful brown wool coat-on sale!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
a peaceful mind.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
how can i mask my muffin top and still look cute and professional?

32. What kept you sane?
purring kitties, internet surfing, bitching to friends

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Alicia Keyes. DeeeLISH!!!

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The elections.

35. Who did you miss?
Jennifer.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
I got closer with my lady co workers which was nice. It's good to have girl back up at work!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Stress and worry are silly. Things will work themselves out as need be, and what you can control-you will. Everything else is what it is! (remind me I said that later!)

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I do it for the joy it brings
Because I'm a joyful girl
The world owes me nothing
We owe each other the world

Ani Difranco

Thursday, November 20, 2008

title. cause i can't think of one.



i have no idea.
it's hard to tell.
there is chaos here and there.

i wish that it was a poem.
i wish you could compare me with somebody noteworthy;
someone whose words,thoughts,deeds,desires left such an imprint
that they have been remembered.

but it's not. i've got no legacy.
there is nothing i have done that will be worth
remembering longer than my lifetime.
however long that may be.

all i can do is watch and wait.
listen to the words that the spin around me,
swirlingswirlingswirling.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

on THIS day...

i love candy.
hubby thinks i'm bony
so i've been eating alot of candy.
i wanted to quit my job today.
just walk out, leave. i felt like crying.
then hubster brought me a double tall white mocha.
i'm spoilt.
will i ever feel like i'm good enough?
i work too much. i have too many jobs.
i spend so much time working that i can't relax.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

my day

1. woken up by hubby at 3:30 when he came to bed
2. woken up by cats at 4:30 when they knocked (another) plant on the floor
3. overslept cuz i just couldn't drag my ass outta bed. STARBUCKS THIS MORNING
4. 7th graders and 6th graders rolled eyes when asked to sing-4 hours of eye rolling people, imagine it.
5. 8th graders have improved (omg they're LEARNING-blogging just to remember this moment)
6. had a 45 minute talk with a student after school where she told me that she doesn't think her mother loves her.
7. went to a stinky dance with stinky teenagers. seriously PEEE UUUUUUU. it clings until you are wearing the smell.
8. got cut off by a guy running a stop sign. he mouthed 'what's up bitch?' as I slammed on my brakes and gave him the what's up hands.
9. dry cleaners cleaned out my wallet. seriously, $50? it's not a dress, it's a long shirt god damnit...
10. found hubby's awesome pumpkin. god he's good at that. and he straightened the living room. i'm in heaven.
11. went to the varsity football game, held the first down sign. froze my tush off.
12. came home, mouse proofed the garage.
13. g'night. i'm done.

Monday, October 13, 2008

what do you believe will heal you?

light of all lights,
i want you to heal me
take my pains, my fears and worries
these things i do not want
i am tired of carrying them

will this plea draw you in?
will you enter in my life,
someone who knows how to how to
a healer wheeler a dealer
someone who knows how to get in

spectacular and amazing contingencies
contradictions are good for the soul
do you want to cover all the bases
spreading your energy thinly through each line
or jumble everything into one

this will cause a need for validation
the peopled person involved will suffer
thereby desiring albeit subconciously to make others suffer
all who do not believe exactly as you believe
will experience pains, fears and worries

this is how full the circle is

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

STREAM OF CONCIOUSNESS BLOG

i'm tired
my heart is restless
i miss alaska
my kittehs are lovely
my diet sucks
i miss Jenn
my car rental is up on Friday
i get to talk to parents all day tomorrow
i flirted like a slut with my dentist
i'm really a 12 year old boy-cuz i love South Park
my living room color sucks and it's my fault
i drink too much
my TMJ causes my jaw to get stuck either open or closed at least twice every day
this blog is stupid
monkey likes to eat bark
i love playing and singing praise music
i did all my chores today
i have a deep abhorrence for stupid/ignorant people and i mean DEEP
it's too late for me to be awake but i am
i am strangely attracted to adam sandler in Don't Mess With the Zohan
i'm glad i married the man i did
i hate the sound of my own voice
sometimes i have no idea how to teach my kids how to sing, cuz i don't really know
my refrigerator is broken
i'm going to bed